Avoid These Common Mistakes When Caring for Your Baby
Everyone wants to be a perfect parent. But there are some mistakes that you can avoid to make being a new parent easier and make it feel like you’re being more successful. Let’s talk about some mistakes to avoid as a new parent.
Not doing skin-to-skin after birth. This is your first out-of-womb interaction with your child and initiates the bonding process after birth. As soon as possible, baby should be doing skin to skin with either parent after birth. Ideally, it would be mom because mom is the one breastfeeding, she is most familiar, and that is simply the most natural progression from womb to world for babies. Being skin to skin with your baby helps their body and emotions regulate better and passes super beneficial bacteria to them to build and strengthen their microbiome, supports breastfeeding, and releases oxytocin in mama to help control postpartum bleeding.
This is something that should be done immediately after birth and continue in the early weeks between mama, baby, and partner.
Tightly swaddling your baby. I know this seems more like a preference thing, but since most parents are giving birth in the hospital and one of the first things done to baby is swaddling them, it becomes a habit that parents are doing without really knowing why. I want to help shift your perspective and make you think about it a little bit more. Postpartum is all about strengthening the mother-baby dyad, and swaddles might be getting in the way of that. Tight swaddles restrict baby’s reflexes, which is partially good because it keeps them from startling awake. However, it’s this artificial comfort that keeps them apart from a parent for longer and also causes them to feed less often. Also, tight swaddles that restrict access to baby’s hands inhibits their development and keeps them from their best friend for the last nine months that they were in the womb. That’s right. Their hands were the only toys that they had in the womb. If you do swaddle, swaddle with hands up so that they have access and loosely so that their hips and arms aren’t strapped to their body.
Waiting for baby to cry feed them. Babies show you when they’re hungry, usually well before they start crying. They start turning their head from side to side, bobbing around, sticking out their tongue, eating their fist, making noises, etc. And these are all signs that baby is ready to eat. Watching for these signs and acting on them before they begin crying is going to make it a lot easier to latch them onto the breast than waiting till they’re upset and freaking out and then trying to get a good latch then. Now, hungry, crying baby is going to happen to you at some point, and when it does, know that you haven’t failed, but it can be frustrating for even you. Just remember that crying is your baby’s way of simply communicating with you. So, talk back to them, let them know that they’re heard, and you’re working as fast as you can to get them fed. Speaking of signs, the fourth mistake is missing baby’s-tired signs and keeping them awake for too long.
Missing baby’s tired signs. This is for sure going to happen to you because the world can’t revolve around our babies all the time, but doing your best to tune into your baby’s tired signs like rubbing their eyes, yarning, getting restless, etc. and preparing them for sleep, whether that’s putting them in a baby wearing carrier, laying them down, shushing them, whatever it may be to help them settle and fall asleep, is going to avoid an overtired baby that is really challenging to soothe and help fall and stay asleep.
Sleep schedule. Also pertaining to sleep, is overstressing your baby’s sleep schedule. There is so much pressure put on parents to have their baby sleeping through the night, having them sleep in their own crib, making sure they’re getting all their naps in during the day. Your job as a parent is not to force your baby to sleep. Your job is to offer safety and comfort for them to fall asleep, and their job is to use that opportunity or not. Once you take that pressure off yourself, a lot of stress is relieved revolving around your baby’s sleep.
Not realizing how much your baby needs you. It’s important to understand that of all mammals, human babies are the most dependent on their parents, especially their mothers.
They aren’t supposed to sleep long stretches. They aren’t supposed to be distanced from their caregivers. The milk they drink contains the lowest amount of protein than any other mammals’ milk, which means they biologically need to eat more. This is all designed to keep mother and baby together. The more responsive you are towards your baby in meeting their needs quickly and lovingly, the safer your baby will feel, which in turn is going to help them self-regulate better and calm their nervous system so they are overall more relaxed and calmer.
Changing diapers in the middle of the night. This was a game changer for me as a mom and helped me get so much more sleep. Instead of changing your baby’s diaper multiple times in the middle of the night, you can put lanolin on their skin, which creates a natural barrier between their skin and any wetness in their diaper, and then size them up in a diaper just for the night. Of course, if your baby is uncomfortable or has pooped in their diaper, you should definitely change them. But this lanolin and sizing up a diaper made our nighttime feeds so much quicker without the diaper change each time as well.
Buying button toys. Button toys are toys that your baby or toddler just needs to press a button and lights turn on, a song plays, or an object pops up. There is nothing to manipulate or learn about when you have a button toy in front of a child. The problem with this is that it’s not helping their brain grow, and it often results with them quickly losing interest. Otherwise, rattles, a mirror, black and white contrast cars balls, and some noise-making toys are great toy options to keep your toy collection minimalistic and still engaging for your little one.
Starting solids too early. As early as four months, some pediatricians will recommend adding rice cereals into baby’s diet. Some will say this to moms who are desperate to get their babies to sleep longer at night, but breast milk is the best source of nutrition for your baby for their first year of life, or formula is the next best option.
Rice cereals have next to no nutritional value. They are empty calories that might fill your baby up, but don’t build their immune system, their brain development, their gut lining, or support their hormone functions. Until a baby has sprouted teeth, their gut is not even developing the enzymes needed to break down the foods that they are being given. Usually around that six-month mark is when babies are more prepared for eating solids, but even then, it can be too early. And even then, it’s more about interacting and playing with the food and familiarizing themselves with it than it is to providing nutritional value to them.
Using an electronic device next to a baby. Phones, laptops, iPads, whatever emits electromagnetic frequencies should not be used in close proximity of rapidly developing babies, toddlers, or children. Baby’s brains are sponges, both metaphorically and literally. They will absorb the radiation that they are exposed to, and this puts them at greater risk for cancer and developmental disorders. If you have a Wi-Fi baby camera in your child’s room, I highly encourage you to replace it with a closed-circuit monitor and place it away from your child’s bed. If you are using your phone often next to your child, I do recommend getting an EMF blocker.
After all those things not to do as a new parent, all things that I wish that I had known before I was having kids, the number one thing I want to encourage you with is to simply look into your child’s eyes whenever you’re engaging with them. This can really transform your day or your parenting journey. Whether that’s with your brand-new newborn or your toddler who’s asking you a question every 30 seconds, looking your child in the eye says, I’m choosing to be present with you, and I’m putting aside distractions because you are important to It helps you connect emotionally with your child.
Let’s Point out about Mistakes to Avoid as a New Parent and Learn how to Navigate them Effectively:
- Not Doing Skin-to-Skin After Birth: After delivery, your first out-of-womb interaction with your child is crucial. Initiate skin-to-skin contact as soon as possible. Ideally, the mother should hold the baby, as it supports breastfeeding, regulates emotions, and passes beneficial bacteria to strengthen the baby’s microbiome.
- Tightly Swaddling Your Baby: While swaddling is common, consider its impact. Tight swaddles restrict reflexes and may hinder bonding. Opt for a loose swaddle with hands free to promote development and comfort.
- Waiting for Baby to Cry Before Feeding: Babies show hunger cues before crying. Look for signs like head turning, tongue movements, or sucking on their fist. Respond promptly to make breastfeeding easier.
- Missing Baby’s Tired Signs: Babies need adequate sleep, but recognizing their cues is essential. Watch for signs of tiredness, such as rubbing their eyes, yawning, or becoming restless. When you notice these signals, create a soothing environment to help them settle and fall asleep. Whether it’s using a baby carrier, laying them down, or shushing gently, prioritize rest over extended wakefulness. Remember, a well-rested baby is a happier baby.
- Overstressing Your Baby’s Sleep Schedule: There’s immense pressure on parents to have babies sleep through the night, follow rigid schedules, and nap perfectly. However, your role isn’t to force sleep; it’s to create a safe and comforting environment. Babies have their own rhythms, and flexibility is key.
- Recognizing Your Baby’s Dependence: Human babies are uniquely dependent on their caregivers, especially mothers. They need frequent feedings, closeness, and comfort. Responding promptly to their needs fosters a sense of safety and helps regulate their nervous system.
- Nighttime Diaper Changes: Instead of changing diapers multiple times during the night, consider using lanolin to create a barrier against wetness. Size up the diaper for nighttime feeds to minimize disruptions.
- Avoiding Button Toys: Button toys lack engagement and don’t promote brain development. Opt for interactive toys like rattles, mirrors, and noise-making items to stimulate your child’s curiosity.
- Timing for Starting Solids: While some recommend early introduction of solids, breast milk remains the best source of nutrition for the first year. Formula is a suitable alternative if needed.
- Using Electronic Devices Near Your Baby: Phones, laptops, and other devices emit electromagnetic frequencies (EMF). Avoid using them in close proximity to rapidly developing babies, toddlers, or children. EMF exposure may increase the risk of cancer and developmental disorders. Consider using EMF blockers on devices or keeping them away from your child’s immediate vicinity.
Remember, parenting is a journey of learning. Prioritize connection, eye contact, and being present with your child.